Random Status Messages

Its better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what your not.

Our five senses are incomplete without the sixth - a sense of HUMOR.

Yawning Is your body`s way of saying 20% of battery remaining.

Ironic how there is still "ex" in "next"... guess life is just a cycle between exes and nexts.

The funniest thing about this sentence, is that by the time you realize it says absolutely nothing, it will be to late to stop reading it.

Chances are like thieves! We don`t know when they`ll come, and we don`t realize how much we`ve lost until they are gone.

Don’t let your ears witness what your eyes didn’t see. Don’t let your mouth speak what your heart doesn’t feel.

The worst feeling is pretending you don`t care about something, when really it`s all you seem to think about.

No ones perfect. Everybody makes mistakes. That`s why pencils have erasers..

Dear ` (: ` you are doing it wrong! Sincerely ` :) `

Nobody is perfect so if you want something perfect go buy yourself a barbie.

Just because no one believes you can do it, doesn`t mean you can`t. Believe in yourself and just DO it.

Never regret anything because at one time it was exactly what you wanted.

Relationships are like TATTOOS. They LOOK better than they FEEL.

Black and White are colors, not people!!! LIKE to Stop Racism

Girls know how to fake a smile, boys know how to fake their feelings.

People might change but there are two things that you can`t change them. Their name, and the memories you`ve had with them.

If you leave without a reason, don`t come back with an excuse.

Always listen to your heart. Even though it`s on your left side, it`s always right

Go ahead, take chances. Say no. Spend all your cash. Be random. Say I love you. Cry. Tell a jerk what you think. Live life. Regret nothing.

There are a lot people who call you by your name, but there is only ONE PERSON who can make it sound so SPECIAL.

they say best friends are hard to find: well that`s cause the best ones are already mine...:)

Sometimes the memories are worth the pain.

Cartoons; the only place you can wear the same thing everyday and no one really cares.

When Ever you are Criticized, don`t get Upset. Always remember this.... No stones are thrown on a Fruitless Tree.

Pictures can`t replace being there & memories can`t replace moments.

Always follow your heart...but, Take your brain with you . :)

Sometimes friends can let you down, but once in a while they are the only reason that you are standing up

Experience is how life catches up with us and teaches us to love and forgive each other.

Its funny how the people I meet in the weirdest ways, are usually the most amazing.

Love your haters. They`re ur biggest fans. Because they keep on wasting time just to watch your every move!

There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few can catch your heart.

It`s not about the ones who act true to your face. It`s about the ones that remain true behind your back

Texting with your pinky because you`re eating.

Sometimes no matter how many people care for you, what matters the most is what that one person thinks.

If I got paid of caring you. I`d be a billionaire.

When the world gives you thousands of reasons to cry, Show the world that you have millions of reasons to smile.

My mom says you are what you eat. that`s funny, because I haven`t eaten any sexy beasts recently.

I know a few people hate me, because I`m not good.
but many people love me because they know that
I`m not too bad,,,,,,:)

Don`t run from your fears - when they catch up with you, you`ll be too tired to fight

Random Facebook Status messages...

The best feeling in the world is when you KNOW your heart is smiling..

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year.

Beauty isn`t measured by the number of likes of your picture on Facebook..

What made you happy once, might not make you happy now.

I`m in love with your statuses. You always make me smile…

In an emergency, I`d probably write status about it before calling the police.

Facebook really needs a `No one cares` button..

Log Out is the hardest button to press…

The awkward moment when someone likes your picture that you posted 8 months ago.

The best love story is when you fall in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time.

If you don`t want me to cross the line, then don`t draw one.

3 Main rules in Relationships: Don`t lie, Don`t cheat, and Don`t make promises you can`t keep.

The past cannot be changed, forgotten, edited or erased. It can only be accepted.

The secret to happiness is not in doing what one likes to do, but in liking what one has to do.

Girls, being beautiful doesn’t make you nice. Being nice makes you beautiful..

Beauty is power; a smile is its sword..

Admit it, sometimes, even when your crush does something really weird, it still looks cute for you.

You’re always loved by me in ways you’ll never see.

People who are meant to be together will always find their way back.

It`s amazing how much you discover on facebook.

It`s not official until it`s on facebook.

Does anybody know how can I send an enemy request on Facebook?

You can`t face the problem if the problem iz your face.

The past cannot be changed, forgotten, edited or erased. It can only be accepted.

Is your name Summer.? because you are as hot as hell.

Random Facebook Status messages...

Lots of things go unquestioned, lots of questions go unanswered. Few words go unsaid, few go unheard. Some dreams are buried alive. We call it "LIFE"..

Today's weight loss tip: Use superglue as lip gloss.

True friendships never die,We may change. We may drift apart.We may not talk as much,but we know we can always call on one another!

Sometimes you have to sacrifice something that is more beautiful for your eyes,for something that is more beautiful for your heart.

The truly intelligent person is one who can pretend to be a fool in front of a fool who pretends to be intelligent.

Sometimes the best things in life are right in front of you,you just have to look a little closer.

The only thing more frustrating than missing someone is missing someone you see every day and there is nothing you can do about it.

Always remember,. Money is not everything in life. But make sure you earn sufficient before talking such nonsense.

"People Who Change After Change-"SURVIVE", "People Who Change WITH Change-"SUCCEED" ,"People Who CAUSE THE CHANGE-"LEAD"

The worst thing about Sunday is knowing that tomorrow is Monday!!!

Life isn't always greener on the other side, sometimes your side just needs a bit of water.

There are going to be some people ,who at some point of your life, will become your friends.And some friends, who at some point, will become just people.

Life's not about the people who act true to your face. It's about the people who remain true behind your back.

Sometimes the greatest challenge is to actually begin.

Time makes us forget memories, but a few memories make us forget time; they make life worthwhile.

No matter how long we have waited and failed, there will always be someone out there who will love us the way we want to be loved.

Relations come to an end when there not much difference left between the presence or absence of the person.

You won't know how much someone cares for you until you realize they don't care anymore.

Being simple makes you more popular :)

The wrong person always comes at the right time and the right person always comes at the wrong time.

When you're standing at the crossroads and don't know which path to choose - let me come along, because even if you're wrong, I'll stand by you.

Missing someone isn't about the time you've not seen each other..but about remembering the moments you've shared together and expecting it to happen again..

Unbeatable Thought: It takes around 2 years 2 learn 2 speak.. But..it takes LIFE TIME 2 learn "WHAT NOT TO SPEAK"

Random Facebook Messages

Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don’t know.

2 in 1 people are siamese.

At my last job interview, I told my interviewer that I plan to give 110%.Unfortunately; I was applying to be a statistician.

Let’s take a moment to remember all those less fortunate than ourselves who are currently pissing around on Facebook.

I always refuse to cut corners.Which is why I lost my job in carpentry

What goes 0-60 in a minute?A clock.

If vegetarians love animals so much, why do they eat all their food?

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2.30am this morning, can you believe that 2.30am?Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums.

My New Year’s resolution is to save enough to buy a Velcro wall.And I plan on sticking to it.

I had a spider on my keyboard.I have it under Ctrl.

I really admire people who keep going even though the are in huge amounts of debt. They deserve a lot of credit

My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Knock Knock."Come in.""Oh thanks for ruining the joke."

I can’t take it anymore.The local shop has installed CCTV.

I’m the kind of guy who stops the microwave at 1 second just to feel like a bomb defuser.

I’m looking forward to getting a KFC and ice cream tomorrow.Some things are worth the weight.

Procrastinators! The leaders of tomorrow.

I wonder if the people of Alaska update their facebook status every time it snows.

I’ve decided not to be pessimistic. It wouldn’t work anyway

What you seize is what you get.

‘With great power, comes a great electric bill.’

I invented gloves. Okay, I’m lying but I did have a hand in it.

I was shopping online and saw a horse that I rather liked. So I clicked "Add to cart."

Nothing more says you are a facebook stalker than updating your status with a girls name when you meant to put it in the search box

I must admit I’ve got a thing for fat women.It’s called a gastric band.

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

My physics teacher told me I had a lot of potential. Then he pushed me off a roof.

Written on top of a cubical wall:If you can aim this high you should be in the fire brigade

I spent five minutes fixing a broken clock yesterday.At least, I think it was five minutes.

Did they ever find out who let the dogs out?

I’m setting up a search engine called Askyourdad.com you type your query in and its sends you straight to Askyourmum.com.

If tomatoes are classed as a fruit, then doesn’t that mean that ketchup is technically a smoothie?

My sister has been engaged to a footballer for over ten years.Come on Diego, marry Donna.

I know the secret to eternal life. But if I told you , then I’d have to kill you.

If it’s your birthday in November, then you know your parents really enjoyed Valentine’s Day.

Scientists claim that coffee is more addictive than Heroin….Bollocks….I’m not addicted to coffee and I drink it all the time.

The Internet is such a boring place… …when there are other people in the room.

I put a wooden desk and a blackboard in my bedroom.You know, to make it more classy.

My sister wanted to know if it would be fine to give her baby a two-letter name. I told her to go for It.

I never let my children watch big band performances on TV. Too much sax and violins

People who copy and paste jokes from facebook are idiots…A few seconds ago • Comment • Like

I see that students are planning another protest against tuitions fees.When will they ever learn?

i love bookmarks. They’re my favourites.

Random Facebook Status messages...

I am certain there is too much certainty in the world.

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future.

Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity.

I do not know which makes a man more conservative— to know nothing but the present, or nothing but the past.

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

A paranoid is someone who knows a little of what's going on.

Dance like it hurts,/ Love like you need money,/ Work when people are watching.

The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectable.

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

Everything of importance has been said before by somebody who did not discover it.

The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.

A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece.

Don't keep anything for special occasions, bcoz every day u live is a special occasion.

A happy man is happy not because everything is right in his life !
He is happy because he does all things in his life right !!

Random Facebook Status messages...

They say that when you dream about somebody, they went to sleep thinking about you. Quick! everybody think about me and we will have a big party in my dreams!!

Deny all...Admit nothing... Blame somebody else...

is going insane...wanna join me? it'll b fun...

so I was thinking...and then I stopped thinking...and now I feel better

wants you to tell me one memory you have of me??

Every person has a rather interesting story of how they met their best friend comment and tell me how you and your best friend came to be. :)

don't judge a person negatively for their feelings without full understanding of the situation. Just because you don't agree, doesn't mean that you're right.

i love those random memories that make you smile no matter what is going on in your life. =)

People will spoil your happiness just because they have nothing better to do and because they are unhappy with their own life. Stand your ground. ~ Mark Jones

When praises go up... blessings come down.

It's not that I'm afraid of telling you how I feel about you, I'm afraid of how you will react.

yes. no. yes. Yes! wait. No! Yes? Maybe not. i have no freaking clue. Wait. no. Never mind. Um. What was the question? OH! Yeah, of course lol

I'm going to change the name of my ipod to "the titanic" so whenever i plug it in to my computer it says "the titanic is syncing".

Learn from the past. Appreciate the present. Embrace the future.

Truth is, everyone will hurt you. Your friends, family, boyfriend/girlfriend and it's beyond your control.You just need to figure out who's worth suffering for.

I'm walkin' on sunshine!

I am not perfect, but I am limited edition ;)

Don't ever question the value of volunteers. Noah's Ark was built by volunteers; the Titanic was built by professionals.

PATIENCE is a VIRTUE I sadly do NOT possess.

says that we're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.

Smiling is the best reaction in all situation.

There should be an application called, "See how many people are pretending to be offline while they are on line".

goin to hang out with all my imaginary friends in the fruit loop garden and play with the glow in the dark monkeys!!!

is not available in some areas and may be too intense for some viewers. Parental discretion is advised.

hates when I do something like a ninja and there is nobody around to see!

is thinking that beer is the answer... who cares what the question is!

Smile uncontrollably and the world smiles with you. Laugh uncontrollably and they'll think your on drugs.

"the storm starts when the drops start dropping. when the drops stop dropping, then the storm starts stopping" Dr. Seuss

Some people are as right as a left turn.

Did you know that if you hold your nose you can't hum!! Hmmmmmm. Hahahahahaha, you just tried it! :)

In a life full of question marks, Try to be a exclamation point!!

Not only do I trip up and down stairs I also trip over flat surfaces and sometimes things that aren't there! :p

did u know "Dammit, I'm mad" spelt backwards is "Dammit, I'm mad" :D

... feels everyone should know that in 1952 Mr Potato Head was the first toy to be advertised on t.v. and that you had to provide your own potato.

WARNING: The man that usually keeps me together is currently deployed.

It doesn't matter how ugly or cute a person might look to you on the outside.. all that matters is how they are on the inside that really counts!!

It is a known FACT that you cannot LICK your Elbow!!! I have a feeling you are now attempting this.

Have you ever noticed that 75% of the time you use L.O.L your not even really laughing? lol

thank God! the monsters in my closet finally stopped yelling at the green fairies under my bed! i can finally go to sleep! GOOD NIGHT!!

After 10 years your mattress can weigh up to 20lbs more because of your dead skin cells, dust mites and their fecal matter. So sleep tight. haha

Girls fall in love because of what they hear, boys fall in love because of what they see. that's why girls wear make up and boys lie

If you like me, Push the LIKE button. If you think I'm a good friend comment on this and put a (:. If you hate me I don't care. :D

A smile is like a virus. You smile, and everyone smiles with you. :)

Random Facebook Status messages...

"The good friend isn't necessarily the one who immediately understands - it's the one who cares enough to keep trying to understand."

True Friends look at you with no judgment in their eyes, they know you've made mistakes but they accept you for being human and help you right the wrongs.

F.r.i.e.n.d.s stands for funny ridiculous exciting nerds different and special.

Friendship does not need everyday conversation, does not always need togetherness, If the relation is in the heart, A true friend never goes apart.

Friend ship is a network that needs: no recharge! No charging! No roaming!...no validity! No activation! No signal problems! Just don't switch off your HEART

FRIENDSHIP is the rainbow between two hearts sharing seven colors: feelings, love, sadness, happiness, truth, faith, secret & respect. :)

A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. :-)

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
fight for you
respect u
inspire u
encourage u
need u
deserve u
save u

Friendship is not for the weak of heart. Real friendship takes strength.

“A strong friendship is like standing on the wet cement. The longer you stay harder it is to leave & if you try to go, you can’t go without leaving your foot prints behind ".

Once a friend asked the other friend...” What would you do if I cheat you..?"
Then the other friend replied..."Trusting you is my Decision and proving me right is your Choice....”

“Being a friend...is not having a friend..But is making the friend see the good inside themselves..While you sit back and watch them grow...while giving them boosts along the way"

“Friends are like pillars on your porch. Sometimes they hold you up and sometimes they lean on you."

“Friendship is like a garden. It is beautiful when it is watered and tended to with love and care of prayers, hugs, tears and cheers, but it will be withered up if, dry up and die if left untouched."

To have a good friend is one of the highest delights in life; to be a good friend is one of the noblest and most difficult undertakings. 

You can't choose the path your friend walks, but you can be there for them when they reach the end.

A true friend is someone who really cares, not someone who pretends to when it's convenient for THEM!

My Life means a lot to me... Not because I love my life, but because I love the people in my Life....The world says, they are called FRIENDS...I call them my WORLD....!!

If you fight with your trusted friend, just put aside your Egos, just smile & hug each other and Say..." I need you idiot at least to fight with me...!” Friends Rock Always...!!!

True friendship is a great bonding, its value is priceless and it’s immeasurable.

”FRIENDSHIP" is just one word, but it takes one second to read., one minute to think, one hour to explain, one day to feel, one weak to demonstrate, and one life to PROVE....!!!!

Friendship is a hidden love which reads everything from our eyes, which understand everything from our silence, which stands always with us even if unseen...!!! 

God picked up some flowers and dipped it in dew....He lovingly touched it, which turned in to you and He gifted to me and told these are for You...!!

Random Facebook Status messages...

Money, Attitude & Ego are like an "underwear". You should have it, but do not show it unless you become a 'Superman'.


A Friend will catch you if you fall, a Good Friend will laugh at you and a Best Friend will take a video and upload it on Facebook! 


Two best secrets to keep relationships strong :- Whenever you are wrong -Always Admit it ! & Whenever you are right -Just Keep Quiet !


One of the best ways to learn about the people in your life is to become a good listener :)


Wonders what hurts more: A goodbye that's said and leaves you with instant pain, or a goodbye that is never said and leaves you wondering what you did wrong.


At the end of life, what really matters is not what we bought but what we built. Not what we got but what we shared..not our competence but our character.


We only see two sides of people; what we wanna see and what they show us, but we hardly see what they really are.


I wish I could go back, back where every pain could be heal with a lollipop and a hug.


The first thing we think when someone takes a photo of us..Will it look good on Facebook? ;)


If people talk about you behind your back, that would mean you are in front, so stay ahead!!


Facebook; a place where strangers come close and after some time become strangers again...


My Internet suddenly stopped working.. then I realized our neighbors didn't pay the bill.. How irresponsible :D:D:D


Biggest Mystery of Maths: 1000s of years passed; Millions of theorems derived; Millions of formulas made; But still, X is unknown!