Ⓟⓛⓔⓐⓢⓔ ⓓⓞⓝ’ⓣ ⓑⓤⓡⓢⓣ ⓜⓨ ⓑⓤⓑⓑⓛⓔⓢ
I hate when I miss a call by a few seconds, call the person back and they don`t answer.
You can rely on me. I’ve been married. I’m trained to follow orders.
The reason worry kills more people than work is because more people worry than work.
On a walk, my son saw a pay phone, asked what it was. I made him look it up on his Blackberry.
I hate change. I didn’t used to. But I’ve changed.
Indecision may or may not be my problem.
If you’re not part of the solution, you’re not in enough hot water.
You don’t poke me as often as you used to.
Past, Present and Future walked into a bar. It was tense.
“I knew you’d be back.” -The Drawing Board
I don’t know why I should learn Algebra. I’m never likely to go there.
My dentist just won Dentist of the Year. All he got was a little plaque.
Two secrets to keep your marriage happy.. When you’re wrong, admit it, and, when you’re right, shut up.
My healthcare plan is pretty simple. I’m covered as long as I stay healthy.
When you don’t know where you’re going, every road will take you there.
Facebook is the adult way of having imaginary friends.
Hard work never hurt anybody. But I’m hoping the boss will be first.
Me and my bestfriend can communicate just with face expressions.
I know the exact day I gave up exercise. It’s on my birth certificate.
Google must be a woman, it knows everything.
People liking my status from a week ago on Facebook proves that I have stalkers.
Battery low please charge! 1% █ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅]
Take your troubles like a man. Blame them on your wife.
I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet.
Don’t break anyone’s heart; they only have one. Break they’re bones. They have over 200 of them.
Getting overwhelmed with the amount of things to do and ending up not doing anything at all.
The nice thing about being single is I’m always there when I need me.
I get a lot of mental exercise by thinking up exotic ways to avoid physical exercise.
No, I dont have bad handwriting. I have my own font.
“Always remember me.” – Anonymous.
I hate when I miss a call by a few seconds, call the person back and they don`t answer.
You can rely on me. I’ve been married. I’m trained to follow orders.
The reason worry kills more people than work is because more people worry than work.
On a walk, my son saw a pay phone, asked what it was. I made him look it up on his Blackberry.
I hate change. I didn’t used to. But I’ve changed.
Indecision may or may not be my problem.
If you’re not part of the solution, you’re not in enough hot water.
You don’t poke me as often as you used to.
Past, Present and Future walked into a bar. It was tense.
“I knew you’d be back.” -The Drawing Board
I don’t know why I should learn Algebra. I’m never likely to go there.
My dentist just won Dentist of the Year. All he got was a little plaque.
Two secrets to keep your marriage happy.. When you’re wrong, admit it, and, when you’re right, shut up.
My healthcare plan is pretty simple. I’m covered as long as I stay healthy.
When you don’t know where you’re going, every road will take you there.
Facebook is the adult way of having imaginary friends.
Hard work never hurt anybody. But I’m hoping the boss will be first.
Me and my bestfriend can communicate just with face expressions.
I know the exact day I gave up exercise. It’s on my birth certificate.
Google must be a woman, it knows everything.
People liking my status from a week ago on Facebook proves that I have stalkers.
Battery low please charge! 1% █ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅]
Take your troubles like a man. Blame them on your wife.
I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet.
Don’t break anyone’s heart; they only have one. Break they’re bones. They have over 200 of them.
Getting overwhelmed with the amount of things to do and ending up not doing anything at all.
The nice thing about being single is I’m always there when I need me.
I get a lot of mental exercise by thinking up exotic ways to avoid physical exercise.
No, I dont have bad handwriting. I have my own font.
“Always remember me.” – Anonymous.
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